Tucker Max Quotes

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Tucker Max

Max at 140tc (September 2009)
Born (1975-09-27) September 27, 1975 (age 41)[1]
Atlanta, Georgia, U.S.
Occupation Writer, blogger, producer
Alma mater University of Chicago (BA)
Duke University (J.D.)
Genre Comedy, Fiction
Notable works I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, Assholes Finish First, Hilarity Ensues, Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers

No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that’s not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.
Tucker Max
Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art.
Tucker Max
I started my blog in 2002. That was pre-MySpace, pre-Facebook. That was back before newspapers realized they were going out of business. That was back when no one gave any credence to Internet writers.
Tucker Max
I’m a decent-looking guy, but I’ve never walked into a room and got a girl because of how I looked. Look, I’m never excluded because of my looks. I just don’t stand out.
Tucker Max
A personal brand is relevant to people who sell or create something relevant to who they are as a person. If you’re not in that boat, which most people are not, personal branding makes no sense.
Tucker Max
I was not developmentally disabled, but didn’t mature at the same rate other kids did.
Tucker Max
I think I just pick really smart and motivated people to work with – people who are probably going to do great things anyway – and I just teach them what I know, maybe teach them how to think a little clearer than they did before, and then off they go.
Tucker Max
The point of psychoanalysis is to really understand the roots of your behavior. Understand why you are doing the things you’re doing – and connect your unconscious to your conscious.
Tucker Max
Whatever your favorite food is, if you eat it every day for a month, you’re going to get sick of it.
Tucker Max
Make no mistake about it: Law school is not a bastion of intellectual discourse.
Tucker Max
Social media for the majority of companies is not about helping customers or improving products.
Tucker Max
General reader feedback is usually pretty worthless. 99% of people give feedback that is irrelevant, stupid, or just flat out wrong. But that 1% of people who give good feedback are invaluable.
Tucker Max
I'm never going to be Tolstoy.
I’m a human. Every human is flawed. I might be flawed in different ways than some people, or worse ways than some people, or better ways than some people.
Tucker Max
Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another.
I don’t want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures.
Tucker Max
Think about it: If you don’t have any actual, tangible skills, then how can you do anything? You may be laughing and nodding, but do you realize how few people, when asked the basic question, ‘What can you do?’ stumble on the answer and have nothing to say? Most people.
Tucker Max
I think 20th century media were about tricking people – and the beauty of the Internet is you can’t lie anymore.
Tucker Max
If your parents ignored you, or if they are just not emotionally available, or if they yell a lot, that is a type of trauma.
Tucker Max
If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you’re going to fail.
Tucker Max
I don’t even pursue girls anymore. I mean, I could obviously still pursue girls. It’s not like I can’t. But I don’t have to pursue girls anymore. Girls come to me.
Tucker Max
I have tons of fans in Canada. I’ve sold hundreds of thousands of books there.
Tucker Max
I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other.
Tucker Max
If you don’t have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.
Tucker Max
There aren’t a whole lot of people in culture that are unapologetically masculine.
Tucker Max
Make no mistake about it: Law school is not a bastion of intellectual discourse.
Tucker Max
There is always more demand for great content then there will be great content to satisfy it.
Tucker Max
Calling one thing ‘literature’ and another ‘fiction’ is a way to create status where there is none.
Tucker Max
Having a soft major is nowhere near the career death sentence that so many make it out to be. The world is changing, and the U.S. economy with it. Our economy is shifting to a service- and information-based economy, and soft majors are already becoming more and more valuable.
Tucker Max
Frankly, I’d rather make a little bit less money if it means living in a better world for books and publishing in the future.
Tucker Max
No one has probably helped me more with my narcissism than my dog.
When your buddy tells you a movie is good, that’s worth 2,000 commercials.
Tucker Max
Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.
Tucker Max
When I give speeches at college, I don’t tell stories, I talk about what it is to live your dreams and take the path less traveled.
Tucker Max
Publishing companies are like schoolyard bullies that can’t even fight well.
Tucker Max
The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won’t.
Tucker Max
I think that there’s a lot of guys out there that want to read the equivalent of chick lit, but really there’s not being much written for them.
Tucker Max
You know, even big-time academics kind of have groupies. Anyone with any sort of fame. So, like, in your micro-world, or in your niche, you’re kind of like a celebrity.
Tucker Max
The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me.
Tucker Max
I’ve come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.
Tucker Max
My parents got divorced when I was around a year old. My dad was essentially a nonentity in my life until I got to be about 16 or so. My mom was a flight attendant for PanAm, so I moved all over the world. London, Rio de Janeiro.
Tucker Max
Usually, whatever people’s particular political leaning is, they either think I’m just like them or the opposite.
Tucker Max
Women always want the guy that other women want.
Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I’m at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales.
Tucker Max
My writing is authentic, and whatever happens in my life is what I write about.
Tucker Max
I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That’s the only way you can be genuinely happy.
Tucker Max
At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now.
Tucker Max
I've never really had a media edifice supporting me.
Helping reproductive services doesn’t just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much.
Tucker Max
Books are so cheap and easy to get that people don’t bother stealing them, which is the essential rule of piracy that the music business learned much too late.
Tucker Max
If you like to argue just for the sake of being contentious, you shouldn’t pick a job based on this unresolved emotional issue of yours, you should get counseling for it.
Tucker Max
I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me.
Tucker Max
I always laugh when people call me a misogynist. I… love women! Everything I do is to impress women. And if I hated women, why would half my fans be women?
Tucker Max
It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way.
Tucker Max
I’m not West Coast at all. I was born in Atlanta, but I grew up in Kentucky, outside of Lexington, in Winchester.
Tucker Max
Most of my success, I feel, comes from being a good editor as opposed to a great writer.
Tucker Max
The haters always scream the loudest.
Obviously, I love Japanese food. My favorite TV show of all time, without exception, is ‘Iron Chef.’ Not the stupid American version; ‘Iron Chef’ Japanese; the real one, the one that was on in Japan… my DVR for years was set to record almost every single ‘Iron Chef’ episode.
Tucker Max
There is no number or level of success that would make me think, ‘Wow, I didn’t think that was possible.’
Tucker Max